The Goblins Discuss the Poorly Locked Chest
Description Published online on July 2, 2005 The goblins talk about their traditions and learn about the adventurers who are going to attack the war camp. Transcript Page 1 From: p.7 :Panel 1 :Scene: (clearing - goblin warriors - Young and Beautiful) ::Young and Beautiful: "Goblins, I have had a vision!" :Panel 2 :Scene: (Young and Beautiful) ::Young and Beautiful: "A party of adventurers will attack us tomorrow morning after they prove themselves at he Crossroads of Eternal Doom!" ::Young and Beautiful: "Now, to make sure that we're effective, I've designated which goblin will battle which adventurer." :Panel 3 :Scene: (Unknown goblin - Complains-of-Names - Dies Horribly) ::A Goblin:(holding a sheet of paper) "It says here that I'm fighting Forgath, the Dwarven Cleric." ::Complains: "And I'm fighting Seth Bainwraith, the drow who has renounced his own kind to fight evil on the surface world" ::Dies: *shivering* "Hey. It says here that I'm fighting someone names Minmax. Minmax the unstoppable warrior." :Panel 4 :Scene: (Complains - Dies) ::Complains: "Lemme see that, Dies-Horribly" :Panel 5 :Scene: (bushes - Complains) ::Complains: (staring at the sheet of Dies) "Oh for crying out loud! This 'Minmax' guy has a 22 strength! How can a 1st level human have a 22 strength?" :Panel 6 :Scene: (Chief) ::Chief: *shrugs* "Well clearly he moved a few stats around. What's the big deal?" :Panel 7 :Scene: (Complains) ::Complains: "The big deal Chief, is that this guy has three more feats than he should, and everyone of his skills is combat oriented." Page 2 From: p.8 :Panel 1 :Scene: (Chief - Complains - Dies) ::Chief: "Really?" ::Chief: "Wow! It says here that he knows 38 ways to kill a guy using only his thumb, but has no idea how to start a campfire or even dress himself." ::Dies: *shivering* :Panel 2 :Scene: (Chief - Complains - Dies) ::Complains: "And his background says that he was taught to use a bastard sword before his third birthday." ::Dies: *even more shivering* "Oh god" ::Complains: "That's not even possible! How could he have held it?" :Panel 3 :Scene: (In silhouette - Young and Beautiful - Complains - Chief - Dies - goblin warriors) ::Young and Beautiful: "Look, you're all missing the point here. As long as we all do our part guarding the poorly locked treasure chest, we'll do fine." :Panel 4 :Scene: (Complains) ::Complains: "Uh I have a question about that too." :Panel 5 :Scene: (Young and Beautiful) ::Young and Beautiful: "Sigh. What is it, Complains?" :Panel 6 :Scene: (Complains) ::Complains: "Well, this time could we maybe some of the items that we store in the poorly locked treasure chest? I mean, that magic shield sure would come in handy tomorrow." Page 3 From: :Panel 1 :Scene: (Unknown goblin - goblin warriors) ::Unknown Goblin: "Actually, now that he mentions it, I wouldn't mind that +1 short sword." :Panel 2 :Scene: (bushes - Young and Beautiful) ::Young and Beautiful: "Goblins, goblins, please!" :Panel 3 :Scene: (bushes - Young and Beautiful) ::Young and Beautiful: "For countless generations we have done things a certain way. We can't just do everything differently now because it..." :Panel 4 :Scene: (Young and Beautiful) ::Young and Beautiful: "...'makes sense'." :Panel 5 :Scene: (Complains - Young and Beautiful) ::Complains: "Well could we at least lock the chest a bit better and maybe hide it instead of placing it in the center of our war camp as if it's some sort of trophy or prize?" ::Young and Beautiful: "Now you're just talking crazy." Category:Comic Updates